Top 10 Snarks About Mattel’s “Response” to Kelly’s Disappearance

So Mattel finally got round to writing me back about my inquiries regarding Kelly’s fateful and tragic disappearance. Well…they wrote me back. They didn’t even reference my questions, nor did they provide any kind of real answer. Thanks Mattel, I couldn’t figure out how to get to Barbie’s Twitter  page on my own…

Way to keep the dream alive, there Mattel.

Hey guys, I think Barbie might have actually taken the time out of her busy 108 career juggling schedule to answer a simple question. Is Barbie’s idea of “leading by example” printing off a template and mailing it out? Le sigh. Somewhere in her pink, plastic coffin (WE ALL KNOW THAT’S WHERE SHE ENDED UP) Kelly is rolling over. And weeping.

I propose a letter writing campaign. Let’s just inundate them until they have to invent a plausible story for Kelly’s disappearance. BYOB.

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